I have all the reasons to sit around indoors and not move so it takes effort to kick myself out of the excessive comfort and monotony of being primarily inside my house for the past year. Having also been weighed down with thoughts and insecurities related to my body, what I was eating, and lots of disordered eating behaviors for a while, being at home has really helped me face these head on. It has encouraged me to incorporate movement that I want, step away from the self-hate and give myself grace, and that trickled over to other areas of my life. Instead of doing things just to do them, I’ve been able to be more intentional with finding physical activity or hobbies that feel good to me. So here I am in this happy place with movement and worrying so much less about what I eat, and then I saw the number.
The other day, I had a doctor’s appointment, and I was asked to step on the scale. Usually I divert my eyes. I’m not sure why I looked this time but the number shocked me. It was higher than I’ve ever weighed in my life.
I’ll spare you all the mental chatter that occurred, but to put it simply: I panicked. Where did all of the body positivity, intuitive eating, self-loving and self-respecting beliefs of mine go? I then asked myself if this could be any other way.
Is there an area of my life that I have been neglecting?
Could I incorporate more healthful habits for myself?
Do I feel satisfied with the way I have been treating myself?
I know I can tell myself I’ve been doing the best I can given the circumstances and there is no need to be so hard on myself.
The marker of what’s “good and right” should not be numbers on a scale but how well you treat yourself.
I mean, my goodness, if fluctuations in weight come from happily, comfortably, and peacefully living life, then there is no reason to worry.
On the other hand, it can be a signal that you haven’t been taking the best care of yourself. I say this not to perpetuate fat-phobia but, just from my own experience. I tend to hold onto emotions and stressors and that takes a toll. Even that phrase about “carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders” is indicative of how stress can weigh you down.
It’s a fine line and I’m not a doctor. I’m just someone who has been victim to diet culture before and now advocates for self-work and the 360° picture of well-being. It’s not about only tending to the physical side but paying attention what’s going on mentally/emotionally can significantly change the way you see and feel in your body!
Around this time last year my disordered eating came to a head in a way that really forced me to deal with it.
There’s nothing like being alone with yourself and you’re gnarly habits right? The strictness and rules I had around food began to soften and that made me realize how deprived I was.
Deprived of joy
Deprived of peace
Deprived of rest
Deprived of satisfaction
Deprived of experiences
Deprived of self-love
I felt unaccomplished and unfulfilled in LIFE and that manifested on my plate.
Maybe I didn’t have my life together but I could kind of feel like I did by meeting the expectations around being “a healthy person”. And that made me feel accomplished.
Until it didn’t.
Food, health, nutrition, and my obsessions with anything related to my diet and fitness were things to keep my mind occupied. I thought: it is better to be a success in this area then be a failure–or worse, a *beginner* at other things. Not that being a beginner is bad but I just wanted to feel good at something and stick with something! Like I had my life together.
I’ve redefined what healthy means to me. And hot damn, it goes far beyond food. Plus, it’s not that big of a deal if anyone else thinks I have my life together. To those who try extra hard to paint that facade on social media (as I did), I encourage you to look within and notice where you can give yourself more.
Fulfillment doesn’t come from excessively doing or excessively holding on, it comes from sampling little joys in a variety of places because no ONE THING exists to fulfill us.
So, I choose to not spend my time dwelling on a number on the scale and instead think about the number on my self-love and happiness level which, if I’m being real, is better than it’s ever been.
I share this not because being vulnerable is fun but because I know I’m not the only one who feels that their body has changed along with them during this past year and sometimes that’s uncomfortable to think about.
Last year I kept repeating to myself: life opens up when you do. So, a year later, I just feel really glad that I’ve done that. That I continue to find ways to do that. If you can relate at all, I wish you the openness that you seek.
Are you a fan of affirmations? Saying things like, “I am a money-magnet” or, “I am confident and capable of anything I set my mind on”? I like the intention behind affirmations but they’ve always felt a little surface-level to me.
I started speaking intentions while doing body massages and movements and that completely changed the game!
How to connect the mind and body with an affirmation:
1. Pick a belief or intention you’d like to hone in on.
Ex: for me, I’ve been repeating “I am pain-free and in optimal health”
2. Connect what you’d like to affirm with your body
Ex: massaging my body is my favorite but some other movements that work are: jumping up and down, tapping any part of your body, standing and alternating flexing your feet, or making brushing movements over the body (I love this one if my affirmation involves “letting go” of something). Affirmations can also be said when exercising but I would just recommend keeping the movements gentle and low-impact.
3. Use this practice in the morning to set you up for an amazing day or use anytime you need to remind yourself of what matters most.
Why does this work?
Well, our bodies store and receive information just as our brain does. So the same way you can see something gross and your mind right away says “NO, stay away!”, your body can cringe or tense up in response. So, we can’t simply TELL ourselves to think a certain way, we need to show our body there is trust. This is similar to the principles that EFT therapy is built upon.
Establish trust by saying an affirmation you want to embody and moving in a way that feels good to you. Repetition of this builds trust. Trust builds follow-through on what you’d like to bring to fruition.
Are you a fan of affirmations? If you feel like they’re a little pointless, try adding in some body movements as described above and see if anything changes!
Years ago, healing is not a word I would have associated with myself in a long-term state. To me, healing was the 1 to 2 weeks it takes to get over a cold or the 6 months someone might require of physical therapy post-injury. I’ve even shared about my childhood arthritis and how remission seemed almost immediate. I’ve never had concerns linger around long enough for me to see how layered healing can really be.
Healing is a process.
It was a naïve way of thinking to believe that healing was a one-and-done situation. It was only through a variety of trials as an adult that I have explored different ways of being and different practices. Each one has taught me a lot about myself but some really led me astray in ways that I’m still unpacking today.
Just to name a few: when I got my first full-time job, I was exposed to working with others, learning what I value in work, falling in love, and stress like I’ve never experienced before all-in-one place. I over exercised my body into a state of amenorrhea and hormonal imbalance. There’s also the interesting facet of disordered eating and body image issues that I can’t remember establishing but nonetheless affected me in major ways.
So, when I realized how much any one of these events, or aspects of them, was affecting me, I had to seek out healing.
Check out my post on How to Recognize Dis-Ease for more explanation on what it means when something is affecting you. For me, often the desire for healing came from insomniatic thoughts keeping me up and crying at 12 am. Or spending too many evenings with a belly ache and a disgust for the way I would treat myself. A lot of the time, it came from me seeing someone I admire living FREELY and me really wanting to no longer be tied down to my burdens.
However, just because I made a decision in ONE moment, it didn’t mean I was relieved.
There is the initial stage of learning what’s wrong. I use the word “wrong” loosely here, only as a means to signify what is out of alignment for you. What happens after this has no pattern, guidebook, or timeline because it’s different for everyone. It is inevitable that I learned more about my relationship to my symptoms and why they existed in the time (days, months, and years) following the ah-ha moment when I realized what was out of alignment.
Sometimes it seemed obvious like, maybe I ate food that just doesn’t sit well with me. Yet, as my unique process of healing moved along, I realized there is a lot that I was doing to myself. It wasn’t necessarily some outside thing affecting me, in several cases I began to flip the script and see how I was affecting me.
The role of the self in healing:
They say that the first step in recovering is recognizing that you have a problem. Well, I knew very well that I had a problem but that didn’t always inspire action. I simultaneously held in my mind the desire to change my ways and the desire to cling to what was comfortable. The fear of “what if I’m unfixable?” or “what if I try something different and it doesn’t actually make me feel better?” plagued me and kept me oscillating between getting better and just being in a rut.
Oh yeah, the rut. There’s also the time I spent not actively trying to get better. When I thought I’d reached a good place with myself, I’d succumb to my old ways, thinking I could handle a swim. Instead of holding my head above water, I quickly sunk into the habits, discomfort, and thought processes that I thought were gone.
I didn’t know I was backpedaling until I was in the thick of the muck again. I do not admonish myself because this needed to happen once, twice, 38,420,950 times until I finally learned I don’t want this to keep happening! We are human beings that learn through patterns and establishing new ways of being requires commitment to try again. Healing isn’t about “getting it right”, it’s about being willing to learn your ways, anticipate possibilities, call yourself out on your BS, and be willing to start over many, many times.
To put it simply: healing is a process.
Healing may start out as a way to get rid of toxins, negative thoughts, bad habits, and pain. The healing that endures takes a more holistic approach of not just looking at the symptom but how that symptom arrived in the first place. The process of healing involves an ongoing journey of learning, connecting all aspects of health, and being open to adapting.
xo,
Melanie
Like this post? Pin it!
Disclaimer: any material shared on Mel Makes It Happen is based on personal experience of the author and meant to be used for educational purposes only. The information is not a replacement for medical care, therapy, or professional advice/treatment.
Debunking diets, nutrition principles to live by, and the process of change
You’re going to want to grab a notepad and pen for this episode. Melanie is joined by nutritionist and badass human being, Alex Coll. She is the face behind the Instagram @fitlicity where she shares nutrition, fitness, and healthy lifestyle tips daily. She describes how she wasn’t always someone who even had an interest in health and now has created a life around what she loves most.
Listen for a breakdown of the pros and cons of challenges, what the difference between a diet and diet trend is, how to create sustainable routines and enjoying the process of change that comes with it. Plus, Alex explains to us her 5 principles for nutrition!
1️⃣ Eat Balanced Meals [protein + carbs + fat] ⚖️
2️⃣ Comprised of #RealFood 🥬🥑🥩🧀
3️⃣ With Proper Portions 🍽
4️⃣ In Regular Intervals ⏱
5️⃣ That You Enjoy
If you are interested in trying out To Be Magnetic’s Pathway Subscription, follow follow this link and use the code “REFERRAL20” to get $20 off your first month of The Pathway.
Check out Care/of to get a month’s supply of customized vitamins straight to your door. Get $40 off using this affiliate link.
I want to help empower people to take control of their personal health. In order to do so, I want to provide people with the tools and information they need to be their most empowered and healthiest selves.
Today’s post is not about me trying to convince anyone else to become a health coach. Rather, I just like to keep you guys informed of what I’m up to and that’s exactly what I’m going to do today. I may have alluded to it before but I find it cathartic to express myself through these posts. It is purely a splendid bonus if, in the event that you’re contemplating anything similar, my experiences feel relatable and are of some help. (Also, if that is the case then feel free to email or DM me and we can chat more♥)
For the past few years, my health has become the most important thing in my life. If you asked teen Melanie what the most important thing in her life was, it would’ve probably been something like watching her favorite shows on The CW…which is just nowhere near as important now. Anyway, my health has been through wild ups and downs all throughout my life. It is a funny thing to look back on what events or behaviors occurred that were basically alluding to something bigger.
What are the big life things that made me want to become a health coach? Well, I could tell you about how I have had issues with disordered eating or exercise addiction that caused me to even lose my freaking period for over a year but I think these sort of situations were only the tipping point(s).
As well, I could tell you how I’m SUPER passionate about food. I have been a foodie since I was born and it was only a matter of time until I started caring what went into my food. Yet, I am only one person with my own experiences in nutrition. Therefore, I want to further educate myself on the subject so that I can help others make informed decisions about their personal nutrition. As a result, better nutrition can lead to improved health in other ways, not to mention, overall an increased state of well-being.
At the moment, I am in the process of obtaining my certification as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach. Before explaining what that means, let me reiterate the first sentence of today’s post which provides my personal mission as a health coach.
I want to help empower people to take control of their personal health. In order to do so, I want to provide people with the tools and information they need to be their most empowered and healthiest selves.
Though, I want to dive a little deeper into the WHY.
I used to think health coaches were a joke in the health and wellness space. Basically, I thought this was a made-up career. I thought health coaches were people with self-dubbed titles who just spammed fitness accountability groups online in an effort to gain clients (and rip them off). Obviously there is a commercialized aspect of many career fields like this but that isn’t everything health coaching is about!
I have learned that people seek out the information they want when they need it. There is a degree of outward effort that I will put into gathering clients and sharing (ideally with minimal spam, LOL) what I do but people need to find their way to me organically. I can spam all the fitness accountability groups on Facebook and Instagram with advertisements about my services but that won’t get me very far.
I greatly believe that when you seek out information yourself, you are more likely to take action or make personal changes because you are ready to invest in yourself.
I am walking into the next steps of my coaching journey ready to soak up all of the nutrition information and develop skills on how to better assist clients on a personal level. That is my next step and I sought it out by researching, investigating, and signing up for the Institute of Integrative Nutrition’s health coaching program. Not long from now, in 2019, I will hold the title of an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach.
It is no secret that everyone has their own ideas of what it means to be “healthy”. There are countless books, blogs, and careers with different approaches to target that exact same concept. Plus, I know the information in the health and wellness industry is over-saturated and nutrition information in particular is confusing. I hope to prove that there is no need for trendy or crash diets because a whole foods way of eating is simply something that everyone can benefit from. Understandably, there are other factors that make eating healthy hard and I will be here to address those, too.
I want to be the link between people and their personal health. I am all about the holistic approach and believe that we each have the ability to achieve optimum health. In my process of achieving my Integrative Nutrition Certification, I look forward to enhancing my own system of knowledge and skill set so that I can help others create their best health.
I hope I’ve provided a clearer perspective on my WHY behind becoming a health coach—a nutrition health coach in particular. I’m not ready to begin seeing clients yet but if you would like to work with me in the future, then stay tuned around here because you all will be the first to know!
As a final note, I did not write this post with the intention to recruit others to join me as a health coach but if you are interested in my same program, through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you may have.
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
Cookie
Duration
Description
cookielawinfo-checbox-analytics
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checbox-functional
11 months
The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checbox-others
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy
11 months
The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
