Freedom to be Everything.

Freedom to be Everything.

I tend to go really hard on things. I don’t know if this is a ME thing, a being-in-your-20s thing, a Manifesting Generator (#humandesign) thing, or maybe it’s just a human thing. 

If I’m interested in something, there’s no easing in and I just want to dedicate ALL of my energy to this thing. I’m not sure if I’m interested just for the moment, perhaps because there’s something I’m meant to learn or explore, or if this will become a long-term investment for me.

Setting aside the bogus rules, naysayers, and societally-imposed stigmas about jumping around in interests, there really is no problem with being this way.

I often say something is only a problem when you think it is.

That in and of itself takes a lot of figuring out (which is a conversation for a whole ‘nother day) but to put it simply: we have full autonomy.

Someone else can attempt to force their beliefs on you, but only you can internalize them. Others can live their life a certain way, but you don’t have to follow along. Just because you haven’t seen what you imagine in existence, or having been done before, that doesn’t make it impossible.

So, it’s taken me years of bashing myself for not being able to stick with one thing and coming to a place of acceptance with my wide array of interests, and then floundering again. Yet, I feel more solid now after having gone through enough experiences with myself where I’ve seen how I am and I began to understand my patterns.

I have waves of energy that encourage me to learn, build, meditate, take action, and so much more. I’m not meant to stay in one stage processing information or only doing. Just like the cycles of nature, remaining in one stage is simply not sustainable. 

It feels sort of like that for my interests. Sometimes I want to revisit one and other times I want to move on to something new.

What gets me stuck, and what I intend to stay more aware of, is when I’m doing something based on a perceived outcome.

There are some interests I pursue personally and spend a lot of time with only to one day feel like I’ve had enough. When I say I tend to go hard with something that means, I pick up a book today on crystals and suddenly I’ll get the itch to learn more and tomorrow think about becoming a crystal healer, or something like that. This is the way my brain works.

And you might be thinking: well, it’s not a bad thing to get excited about something! We all get these little phases of being interested in things. This is true.

What I’ve learned to be careful with is not trying to turn my interest into a career.

As in: enjoy the stage of being interested in something and not jump ahead by trying to monetize it or make it MY THING before I understand how invested I am in my current interest.

Let me describe this in another way. 

I low-key have thought about becoming a registered dietitian, opening a jewelry business, studying reiki, teaching meditation, becoming a monk, getting vocal lessons to become a singer, going into modeling, and so much more! These are all things you probably had no idea about because they never made it to the surface. If I had been interested in making necklaces or whatever just a little bit longer, I probably would’ve talked about it.

This isn’t to say you can’t turn an interest into a career because you certainly can! You can do whatever you want. I kind of like to let things brew underneath the surface for a while to make sure that I’m really into something before making declarations to the world, but that’s just me. At the same time, I’ve made the big declarations after much contemplation before and that didn’t keep me from changing my path.

All of this to say, maybe this is the way it is.

Ooh, so wise, right? 

This is the way it is meaning… I am full of passion and a growing list of interests and I get something out of everything that I pursue. I feel that the excitement I have over these different pursuits generates this super glowing energy in me that makes others feel excited, too. 

Now, I can’t control what others think or do but I’ve been told by others that they felt more confident to share something they’re into after seeing me do that (whoa!!!). This isn’t so much of a reason as for why I behave the way I do so much as it is just a possible consequence of me being myself.

I believe that when we are being ourselves, as wild, cooky, nonsensical, or ridiculous as we may feel, it encourages others to be themselves, too.


So, there isn’t any ONE PATH for me (as I’ve repeated to myself over and over again) but I feel excited each time I come home to this feeling I have right now as I write this.

It’s a feeling of being everything.

 

Of knowing:

I am everything.

We are everything.

There is no limit.

No limit to our power.

No limit to our voice.

No limit to our spirit.

 


I’ve been peacefully disconnecting with things that I’ve held tightly for so long and it’s made room for me to find that new, NEW.

This is a really miraculous and slightly cliff-hangery type of moment because I’m figuring stuff out. At the same time, I’m not asking myself: what am I going to do next? because I’ve been here before. 

I’ve been in this place, and I trust that exploring what feels true to my heart will bring me everything I’ve dreamed of and even more that I never knew I wanted.

xo,

Melanie

 

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How to Recognize Dis-Ease & Components of Health

How to Recognize Dis-Ease & Components of Health

There is a lot that I’ve learned about my overall health and the very interconnectedness of all aches, stressors, symptoms, emotions, and more that I feel needs to be talked about. Having gone through the process of healing many times, and still going through it, I wanted to bring some illumination on how to recognize when dis-ease exists in the body. 

You can also check out my post on The Process of Healing for more details about what it’s like after recognizing what is not right.

Dis-ease is not necessarily disease but it can be a sickness that you can’t put your finger on. It can be a variety of symptoms that do not show up on a blood panel or when you step on a scale. The symptoms have more to do with not feeling happy, not feeling whole, and not feeling self-worth. 

Dis-ease is a state of being out of alignment with your natural state of authenticity, radiance, and vibrant health.

Because this is the internet, I will also put the disclaimer that anything I share here is just personal experience and meant to be used for educational purposes and not as a replacement for medical care, professional advice, or otherwise.

I’m going to begin by breaking down the three main components of pain or any sort of dis-ease in the body. 

I consider the following three areas whenever I am ill or simply not feeling myself. These are the frames by which I view symptoms and seek to create harmony amongst them. There may be times when only one area needs attention but, most often for me, when signs show up in one place, it indicates the need for attention somewhere else. 

Mental/ Emotional Component

Anyone who has experienced loss, disappointment, or heartbreak knows that these are strong emotions that can be difficult to make peace with. Any stressful or involving tasks, experiences, or even relationships with people can create a heavy weight that affects our health. Additionally, our mindset plays a large role in how we feel, too. Those who hold personal strengths such as positive thinking, resilience, optimism, willpower, mindfulness, and a good mood tend to have better self-management tendencies, as shown in this study. 

Has stress ever kept you up at night worrying about something? Maybe to the point where you developed a headache? That has happened to me more often than I’d like. Stress is often talked about as being a mental sickness but it can manifest physically, too.

how to recognize dis ease l melmakesithappen

Physical Component

The physical component is what often stands out to us first when there is something “wrong”. This could be pain that burns, aches, tingles, or has any sensation of discomfort or out of the ordinary. Tightness, stiffness, or general fatigue are also tell-tale signs of something being off in the body. For a long time, I dealt with wild gastrointestinal distress (and still do on-and-off) such as bloating, constipation, dysbiosis, abdominal pain, and even the development of food sensitivities/intolerances. Rashes, itchy skin, and allergies, are also very much tied to other imbalances in the body.

Sometimes it can very plainly be a case of an allergy where eating something will cause a severe reaction in the body. However, when symptoms, like the ones described above, seem to appear out of nowhere, then I can’t help but wonder where it’s coming from and how it started. The weight of mental and emotional burdens are enough to take a toll on physical health. Read more in-depth about my experiences here.

Spiritual Component

We cannot dismiss the very important component of spirituality. For many, religion or a practice that offers ways to make sense of our humanness proves to be helpful, especially during difficult times. I believe an established sense of spirituality helps us ground into our values, our heart-centered beliefs, and instill us with the power to be our own healer. This is a complex facet that can definitely take up a whole post on its own. However, just to clarify: we each determine our sense of spirituality. There are NO rules about how, when, or if we do something.

For those without a spiritual practice, simply honing in on values and mindfulness can be beneficial, too. That can be a bit more cerebral but it still helps to ignite awareness of the self and root into the inherent worthiness we each have. Beyond the facts, knowledge, and physical evidence, whatever ideas or beliefs we hold are going to be the thing that motivates us forward or keeps us from healing. 

xo,

Melanie

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Finding Happiness During the Pandemic

Finding Happiness During the Pandemic

I hope this summer has found you well. I hope you have opened up to discovering the possibilities present. I hope you’ve opened up to ways that you can be a creator of whatever it is you want. If none of that resonates, I simply hope you have been happy.

That’s what I’ve been trying to find, trying to be.

I’ve never been the kind of person who uses the word happy as a state-of-being. Partially because I’m naturally a little manic and fluctuate between feeling over the moon excited, pit of despair depressed, and the most common feeling: nothing. There’s a lot of nothing, dull, boring types of moments in my life. Happy seems elevated beyond ordinary in a way I’ve never felt I could meet.

You know those scales with smiley faces at the hospital that say “rate your pain”? There are usually 10 levels, with 1 being the least and 10 being the worst pain. Somehow, I invented my own scale for my state-of-being with 10 being happy. So if 10 is the best, can you really feel like a 10 all the time? No. Or, at least I don’t think so.

Basically I’ve withheld my feelings of being a 10 and being happy for a while. 

You might be thinking: why would you do such a thing? It sounds like you’re making life harder on yourself.

Damn right, I am. Primarily, this is because being a ball of stress and anxiety has been my resting state. That is the way I’ve felt for months and that comes from me forcing myself to do a lot of activities and be in situations that I were just not working for me. I was working in a job I hated, which younger me promised this would never happen again, but here I was. Then, even the enjoyable things I did in addition were filled with a rushed and strained energy. Having majority of my days spent on things I hated made me put a lot of pressure on the things I liked to fulfill my every need. Everything was out of balance.

Another factor to not feeling like a 10 has more to do with long-term planning. I might feel good one day but what if I happen to feel even better on a future day? Saving my 10s, essentially. If I rate my happiness today as a 10 then can that future happiness be a 10? As a human being, or maybe simply as me, novelty of experiences impacts the way I feel. I have largely formulated ratings for how I feel based on the experiences I’m having. If novel experiences are rarely repeatable then perhaps my happiness cannot be either. It’s worth noting that I’m not purposefully doing any of this.

Through lots of self-reflection, I’ve realized I have been withholding feeling happy because it’s something I can control.

Just to unpack this a little more, it’s not a bad thing to be influenced by experiences as a marker for how you feel. Things like: taking a trip, meeting up for lunch at a new restaurant, talking to a friend you haven’t spoken to in years, trying a new activity are just a few examples of first-time or special events that can really make you feel a little something extra on that day. I can even ride the high for a couple of days!

What happens when novel experiences cannot happen, though? During the coronavirus pandemic, my novel experiences have diminished significantly. There are only so many different teas to make and Netflix specials I can sit through before it all starts to feel the same. Life was feeling comparatively worse than when I was more socially active and got to meet face-to-face with people other than my immediate family on a regular basis. I know I’m not the only one going through this but that thought did not bring me much comfort.

Well, surely, if I was to hear everyone is cured and the world is “back to normal” tomorrow that would make me feel better, right??

For a while I thought so…but there’s no amount of time that the pandemic will last that can make me better. That brings me back to my point about placing my happiness in things happening outside of me.

In days of isolation and monotony, I’ve had to not only create moments of happiness but redefine the purpose of my existence. I say this not to be dramatic (I mean, it kind of is!) but because one cannot happen without the other. Naturally, if I seek to allow myself to say I am happy just because, then I am in control of my sense of happiness.

I am happy to be alive today. I am happy to be able to breathe. I am happy to open my eyes in the morning and begin another day.

A year ago, these words would have sounded so meaningless to me. In a materialistic society, like the one I live in, getting things (whether tangible or intangible) is happiness and success. That’s why I’ve had to take a step back and think of how I could make my happiness less dependent on circumstances or the ebbs and flows of life.

As I shed the work and projects that I was doing before that caused me stress, I feel more whole. It’s easier to find balance because I can spend my days the way I want. Of course, still within financial and circumstantial means but it has given me an appreciation for the simple things and a change in perspective that I was very much in need of. 

There’s a book I once read for a college English class called Man’s Search for Meaning. Putting aside the sex segregated title, it is a magnificent book written by Viktor E. Frankl about his time at Nazi concentration camps. Frankl was a Jew, a psychotherapist, a father, and somewhat of an important person in his community. As he chronicles the experiences he has in the concentration camps, his pride, his family, his clothing, and everything that he ever thought that defined him were taken away. Basically, he was forced to redefine his meaning of life.

I am, of course, in much more privileged circumstances at the moment than Frankl was in the Nazi concentration camps, but that is why the book still holds lessons of value. It shows how, in the most dire of circumstances, we all have the choice of how we want to define ourselves, what we believe our purpose is, and what determines our happiness.

All this to say, I now see happiness as something I can allow myself.

I’ve been pushing aside feeling good for a while but each day is a gift. It’s a humbling thing to recognize how magical it is to simply exist right now on Earth. So anything else that happens is just extra stuff outside of me but it is not me. This may sound super hippie-dippie but it just feels true to me. If I had everything taken away from me like Viktor E. Frankl, which hopefully it doesn’t have to come to that but, you know, I would like to be able to remember who I am. Instead of being a girl with many selves and different versions of herself navigating the world, I’d like to be a soul that is whole and one with myself.

While I have a conscious understanding of the mindset shift I’m making for myself, that’s not to say it is easy or that I’m now in some blissed out state! I do believe life should have more ease (this is actually a value of mine) so when things feel forced, I know I am not in balance. At this point I’m not above getting upset about things that are outside of my control and I am sensitive to the way others act toward me or each other. So, it’s a practice to find ease. It’s a practice to not make these outside-of-myself-things mine and not internalizing beliefs of others. For my own sanity and happiness.

There are certainly other layers to this but those will have to wait until another day. I’ve just described one aspect in the giant puzzle of understanding myself and my own humanity. I’ve talked about my experience with people-pleasing and removing all of these things outside of myself to help me get closer to my core. I can’t say that the way I view happiness, or purpose, is for certain but I do know I feel more and more authentic to myself as the days go on.

If you’re open to sharing, I’d love to hear how you create happiness and what your definition of that is. Thank you for reading. Consider sharing this on social media, if you like it. 

 

Mel Makes It Happen is on YouTube! 

Mel Makes It Happen is on YouTube! 

Okay, this isn’t the newest of news but I’ve recently been posting more videos on my YouTube channel. The episodes of the Make It Happen Podcast have always been there to listen to but now we’ll start having more exclusive video content on the channel, as well.

At the moment, there are some videos previously released on IGTV. Personally, I like watching videos on my computer using YouTube more than through Instagram on my phone. I’m all about options and that’s why I also upload any IGTV videos I post over on YouTube!

I’ve already got some longer form video ideas in mind and I would love to explore video editing so go ahead and subscribe so you can keep in the loop about any new videos!

For starters, check out this video on Why The Change You Want Isn’t Happening. I share two common scenarios I often see for why change isn’t sticking.

Personally, I’ve been more of a controlling person in much of my life so the points mentioned in this video are for me as much as for you. Forever on the journey of learning and self-improving!

If you like this sort of content, be sure to subscribe on YouTube!

 

 

10 Ways to Tend to Your Body, Mind, & Spirit During Self-Quarantine #Self-Care

10 Ways to Tend to Your Body, Mind, & Spirit During Self-Quarantine #Self-Care

I hope you all are well and staying safe.  I’ve been laying low myself and have come to a comfortable place with the whole stay-at-home situation.  For a while I was going stir-crazy but that was before I realized the potential for self-work and growth that this time offers.

There are a ton of lists and videos floating around for things you can do during self-quarantine to help the time pass.  I’ve seen them and you’ve probably seen them. However, I don’t want to ask you to go watch Netflix shows for the next few weeks just because you’re staying home.  I love Netflix as much as the next person but I hope to enlighten you with some different ways you can make the most of your time in self-quarantine.

This is a list of some of my favorite things to do during self-quarantine to tend to my body, mind, and spirit.

 

Learn a new skill

Everyone on the interweb is telling you to take up knitting and painting but pick up a skill you like.  I’m personally drawn toward creative projects but skills can also be more educational. You can find TONS of tutorials on YouTube for how to fix broken appliances, construction projects using extra plywood you have laying around, or how to use QuickBooks!  Yes, you can learn skills to improve your financial organization (do your own taxes!), start an online business, even how to code or do data entry. There is a lot of FREE information available, which is what I’d encourage you to utilize first before buying anything; it just requires a little digging–but, hey, you have time, remember?

Dive into self-work

I know I’m not the only one who had a minor (or major) freak out when businesses started shutting down, news reports of people contracting the virus showered TV and online media sites, or when the government released mandates to stay home.  It’s important to be informed but what helped me, and what has helped me for a while now, is turning my fears inside out. After a moment of panic, I try to regain my footing and ask myself why something is freaking me out. Why am I afraid?  

One fear is usually attached to another fear.  So, if you can take yourself down that rabbit hole, you can get to the bottom of things and create new belief systems.  When you engage in self-work, you can use fears as an opportunity to see where you’re unintentionally keeping yourself small or where you’re repeating patterns not serving you.  This is honestly a topic that needs more than one tiny paragraph to do it justice but, if your interest is piqued, I’ll direct you to some of my favorite resources to get your feet wet.

My very accessible 30 Days of Self Discovery Journal Prompts

The Holistic Psychologist YouTube 

To Be Magnetic Shadow

melmakesithappen

Movement

Oh, movement, how I adore you.  In my earliest days of dabbling with self-care, movement was my way to feel good.  Move your body and, naturally, you will flush out stagnant energy and find a new flow.  Contrary to what anyone might tell you, there is no “better” or “worse” form of exercise.  The best kind of exercise is the one you’re going to enjoy doing.  If you don’t have any movement routine at the moment, or if your current one ever feels like a chore, then change it up.  You don’t have to be married to ONE form of movement.

In fact, every form of exercise has its own health and mood-boosting powers.  The reason for that is because when you get movement in, you take your mind off of stressors or anything else going on.  You’re focusing on the activity you’re engaged in, balance, strategy, and potential (i.e. that’s why it’s important to rotate exercises or attempt more advanced movements when they no longer challenge you).  So, I think you’ll follow when I say movement challenges your body and your mind. And that post-workout high you get? I’d say that’s your spirit being lifted.  

Deepen your faith

Do you have a spiritual practice?  Spirituality is our way as humans to explain the happenings of the world and give us purpose.  It is once I developed my sense of spirituality that I was able to see myself as more than just a hamster on a wheel (going nowhere).  If you’ve ever been told, “things just happen” or “that’s just the way it is”, you’ll know that is not at all comforting.  An effective spiritual practice piques thought, proposes reasons for why we go through things in life, and offers possibilities for how to navigate them. 

My sense of spirituality isn’t just tied to religion, churches, and prayer but if that resonates with you then keep at it.  Deepen your practice, read the scriptures, and have discussions. Additionally, I think talking about our beliefs with a community that is open and receptive is one very important component to spirituality.  I have found my like-minded community through podcasts I listen to and online groups on Facebook. Don’t ever feel like you’re an oddball in terms of beliefs–there is a community for everything, you just need to go out there and find it.

Seek out expanding media

This is still bouncing off the topic of spirituality but hear me out.  I think a big influence on our belief system is the media we choose to consume.  The shows you watch and the things you hear are reinforcing certain ideas.  Are those ideas benefiting you?  Many times, we don’t realize how ingrained our belief systems are until something comes forward to question it.

Start by finding a resource that speaks to you in an area that interests you.  This can be a book, a blog, a podcast, a movie, or anything that piques your interest.  Maybe you’re a singer and you’d like to start playing shows live; so, watch some documentaries on singers you admire.  If you’re a woman who wants to travel alone but isn’t sure how, try reading the accounts of other women who have done the same.  Consuming media in this way is a safe method to explore a subject you’re interested in without any commitments.  

sausage potato kale soup

Cook something new

Ohhh yesss.  If you’re typically an eat-out-at-restaurants kind of person then staying home presents an added challenge–but a fun one!  For anyone completely new to cooking at home, my biggest tip is to try recreating a dish that you like ordering out.  Cooking, like movement, is a lot more fun when you’re eating/doing something you like.  

Those who know their way around a mixing bowl (my first kitchen experimentation was through baking before moving into cooking) but don’t often use a grill might want to try cooking something new.  I know cooking can simply be a form of fuel for some and they’re pleased enough with a sandwich but, if we’re talking about learning new skills, it feels really empowering when you can make whatever it is you’re craving with confidence.

Some easy recipes on my blog:

Sweet Potato Cucumber Salad with Curried Tahini Dressing

Fresh Shakshuka for One

Sausage, Potato, & Kale Soup/

Pumpkin Cookies (GF & V) 

Bond with your family / housemates

It might seem really obvious but staying at home provides a great time to bond with your family or housemates.  You all are forced to see each other a little more than usual now and perhaps that has caused some head-butting.  I know it has been a little tense in my house! However, talk it out and reconnect with them.  Express your intentions and open up the channels for communication.  That will make spending isolated time with each other much easier.

Tend to your yard and garden

Those of us who live in a traditional house can use this time to cultivate a visually attractive yard or patio.  Trim any askew tree branches, dedicate a spot of land to create a compost, or re-purpose some fresh branches to grow another plant–a no-cost way to get more plants without buying more.  If you have packets of seeds, then now is the perfect moment to plant flowers, veggies, or other plants to liven up your yard.  

If you’re in an apartment, you can also liven up your space by sweeping the steps, clearing your patio of clutter, and creating a potted plant arrangement.  

diy mustard bath soak recipe melmakesithappen

Relax & Release

Ironically, those of us who have a little more time on our hands might be the most stressed of all!  It’s understandable to feel confused and even scared but holding onto such strong emotions can really weigh on you.  Movement is one way to ease negative emotions out but also including practices that remind you that you are safe. I like taking a walk, drinking some warm tea while sitting outdoors, or singing aloud to my favorite songs.  Let’s also give a special mention to baths because they are so helpful to warm up our muscles and release stored tension in our bodies.

I’ll link to a mustard bath soak that I like to use here: Easy DIY Mustard Bath Soak

Clean-out &clear-out

If you’re staying home, this is the perfect time to sort through any closets, under the bed, or any places of storage.  Years and years will pass where we just keep holding onto clothes that don’t fit us, obsolete paperwork, or knick-knacks that a friend brought back from their Cancun vacation.  I’m not saying you have to get rid of anything but, going through all the corners of your home might reveal some stuff you haven’t looked at in years.  When you create space, you make room for new energy, new products, and new opportunities that better align with who you are today (not the you from 10 years ago that saved that stuff).

Let’s also take a moment to give special mention to clearing out social media, email, and online storage.  I know you’ve probably got tons of accounts you don’t even know you’re following on social media.  Weed them out and you’ll get a feed more customized to what you want.  And, instead of paying for additional storage, make use of free services like Dropbox and Google Drive–just stop clouding them up with assignments from college and photos from high school.  You know who you are.

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To be honest, many of the items on this list aren’t too different from things I enjoy doing on a regular basis.  The only difference now for myself, and probably for many of you, is the amount of time you have on your hands.  Some of these things might not directly seem like they impact your mind, body, and spirit but it’s little actions that add to your overall peace and sense of well-being.