This post is an excerpt from a topic discussed on the Make It Happen Podcast. To listen to the episode, click here.
To some people, saying, “I’ve got to get my shit together” becomes casual talk. Maybe a phrase they throw around on a weekly basis because it’s fun to speak in hyperboles and the phrase itself sounds grand. On a side note, I’m not opposed to cuss words. Some are fun and they help to emphasize a point but they limit a thought that can better be explained with other words. So for that reason, saying phrases like this are not funny.
It’s a way to hide behind a problem instead of taking ownership over what needs attention.
Let’s get specific though. Regarding the phrase, “I’ve got to get my shit together”, I’ve seen it being used to feign ownership of a situation but all the person is really doing is blowing off steam. Acknowledging the problem lessens the intensity of the problem but, from what I see, the people who say “I’ve got to get my shit together” don’t actually know what steps to take to do that.
For example, if an intention of yours is to be more eco-friendly then what is something you can implement to improve that? What little actions can you take within your day to align with this? If you’re unemployed and are saying you need to get your shit together then get specific. What actions can you take from the comfort of your home or with half an hour of time to spare? Things don’t need to feel like a mess. Plus, saying you have to get your shit together is self-critical and not actionable.
So, first things first 1) Don’t fake your concern for a situation or cause. Too many times I hear the phrase being used as a cop out or an excuse. And 2) if it is a legitimate concern then use language that helps you get clear on what feels out of control in your life and what you need to do to fix it, rather than just making your problems seem bigger than you.
That brings into question communication tools that can better get your point across.
Part of taking responsibility of what’s going on in your life is verbalizing constructive statements. Your friend or coworker doesn’t know what is really bothering you if you just say you need to get your shit together. Instead, how about saying to your friend, “Hey, I need help sorting through my closet.” or “Can you help me get my tax documents together?” Be specific about what areas need work.
If you aren’t sure right off the bat then think about that and write it down.
Sometimes things feel so big in our heads but once you put it down on paper –or virtual paper via the notepad in your phone, if that’s your thing– then the situations don’t seem so big. Once you write it down, it might only be a list of say 3 different tasks that you need to accomplish in the coming two weeks. If it is a longer list, that’s okay, too. I like to sort things by immediacy and importance–and most times I find what I’m stressing about isn’t quite as big of a deal as I’m making it out to be.
My heart goes out to the people who have to plan months ahead because of the scope of their work or associated organizations. But remember:
Worry doesn’t create anything of substance, only action does.
So if you’re worried about an event happening three months from now, how about turning the focus on the assignment you need to finish this week or the presentation you have to prepare for next week? The mini achievements that will help get you further down the path.