During my recent Sugar Detox, I struggled with trying to banish my cravings. I whipped up some sugar-free snacks and stuffed my face with roasted sweet potatoes and bananas because they were free of “added-sugar”. I’m not even upset about the way I approached things because it led me to figuring out a really helpful tip that I now use EVERY TIME I EAT A MEAL.
Before I share the tip (impatient folks can scroll down) I want to clarify my approach on the sugar detox. I wanted to eliminate added-sugars because I sensed those were the major culprit for my wild and uncontrollable cravings. Sometimes I wouldn’t necessarily even be hungry for a sweet but all I needed to do was look at a skillet cookie and BAM! The entire thing might as well be in my stomach because I felt like my self-control was on vacation. Who else can relate?
I’ve since learned that self-control around food is primarily determined by the “baggage” we may be bringing to our plates. Think of it: we spend our days knocking out chores, running errands all over town, meeting with people, and oftentimes chowing down food on-the-go. How well do you think your mind recognizes the food you eat when you’re spooning overnight oats in between passing lanes? Plus, what about all of that erratic energy you’re bringing into your meal?
The field of nutrition is thought of as a body of food rules. However, I don’t believe in a world where food is only something we have to eat to survive. Food is meant to be enjoyed. Yet, for myself and probably many people, there is also a need for moderation. It is up to us as individuals to determine how much moderation to apply and where we want to strengthen or loosen our grips on that relationship with food.
As a matter of fact, the tip I’m about to share was something I picked up because I wanted to set boundaries and stop reaching for food when I wasn’t hungry. On the other hand, it can totally be used if you want to expand your food options and feel less restrictive.
The free and life-changing tip that I now practice for a healthier relationship with food is: GIVING THANKS.
In Western culture, we can be pretty self-indulgent and come to expect certain things in our day-to-day life so much so that the things that really matter get taken for granted. Every day we eat a meal, at least once but, probably a few times. Food is widely available and that almost reduces its perceived value because we think we can just get more later. That may be true accessibility-wise but I like to think about the process that made the food possible. The growing process, the farmers, the store I purchased the food, and the preparation involved.
Just try…next time, instead of jamming a forkful of food into your mouth the moment you lay eyes on your plate, try turning it into an experience. I knew a friend who would carefully hold something that she was about to eat and smell it. She’d legitimately spend a few seconds just smelling her food before eating it! That blew my mind! It was basically a full sensory experience. So, I like to take as much time as possible (without letting my food get cold) before eating to appreciate my food.
Here is what that usually looks like for me:
When possible, I prefer to take a seat at a table and in a space without noise and distractions. Then, I like to stare at my plate a little bit. I smile and think about the way I took my time to prepare my food—or, if someone else made it, then I think about how appreciative I am that they prepared this dish for me. I’ll give my dish a sniff and then place my hands together, and, with my eyes closed, just express thanks for whatever comes to mind. (Thanks can also be directed towards whomever or whatever you’d like: God, Jesus, the Earth, Mother Nature, the Universe, anything!)
Taking a moment to express a few words of gratitude helps me feel present and appreciate what I have. Any other stuff going on in my day or life is set aside, for this moment, so that I can eat in peace. Giving thanks helps me eat more slowly and, consequently, be more attuned to my body. In that state, I can make better decisions for myself and I am significantly less likely to reach for unnecessary second helpings, snacks, or my vice: sweets. 🙂
When I started implementing my life-changing practice, I felt like I finally understood Michael Pollan’s famous words about eating food, but not too much, and mostly plants.
It really isn’t complicated but giving thanks before a meal is almost a lost art. So, tell me, did you grow up giving thanks for meals? Do you currently have a gratitude practice related to food?
Happy 2019! This is my first blog post of the year on melmakesithappen and I am tying it in to my intentions for 2019. I posted a photo of my intentions here on Instagram but I’m really passionate about my chosen intentions so I want to dive a little deeper into a thought that influenced the creation of many of them: the fear of personal truth.
The year 2018 was certainly the most trying and painful year for me yet. I sank to new lows that literally tore my soul to pieces. In spite of those hard times, I learned to pick myself back up. I also find it important to mention that my road to feeling like me again hasn’t been straight and narrow. It has involved steps forward and steps back; reaching contentment with situations and then revisiting old wounds; rinse and repeat.
Of course, all of the experiences that we have can be seen as lessons that only lead us closer to that which is meant for us. I would never have signed up for a true passion project if I hadn’t gone through what I did. Still, in reflection over the events that have transpired over the last year, I realize the only regrets I have are for the times I did not express my personal truth.
Throughout my life, I’ve let others voice their opinions and make decisions that affected me. Sure, I have my own thoughts but I am also indecisive and that made me more apt to take on others’ views as the truth. A lot of introspection made me see that only someone who does not know themselves is capable of being pushed around to the point of defeat in a battle they didn’t realize they were involved in.
I sympathize with my younger self for all of the times she let fear keep her from being the person she wanted to be.
I always thought I needed to fit into the mold of what society has established. If my thoughts, behaviors, or dreams did not fit into the societal structures or labelsthat already exist then I felt I needed to adjust myself for the world. I can’t have expected more of my slightly younger self because she, and those around her, did not know any better.
Parents, counselors, and friends only know what they know and it is people’s inclination to encourage you to choose what is safe.
Don’t rock the boat.
Know your place.
Be grateful for what you have.
While those conventional messages have a purpose and a place, they also can be confining. They box you in and discourage the formation of unique desires for personal growth, career, religion, or other avenues.
Fear isn’t what we think it is.
If we put aside the very big influence that others have on us, we are still left with our thoughts. Let us not underestimate how much we, ourselves, place a huge restriction on saying what we want. I can certainly vouch for letting FEAR stop me from challenging myself; consequently, I shut the doors on possibilities to experience more. Fear is largely psychological. We each are fully capable of creating a fear in our minds and elaborating upon that fear until we’ve created a monster that we don’t want to face. The monster is so frightening that just the mere thought of it elicits a physiological reaction that is downright crippling, at its worst.
I want to clarify what I mean about being afraid to say what we want. Frankly, I do not believe we are actually scared to speak up but, rather, fearful of sharing the truth that is in our hearts. The fear we have is based on the risk of experiencing backlash from the outside world. Being vulnerable, misunderstood, ridiculed, hated, resented, isolated, or rejected are, just to name a few, some worst-case scenario thoughts that I’ve held.
What is the way around the fear of embracing our truth?
During my time studying psychology, one (of the many) things I learned is that our behavior in social situations is learned. We take cues from those around us on how to act and even on what to say. So, if you’ve ever had a negative experience after saying what you want, you’re not alone. It’s no wonder we feel afraid to say what we want now!
It is much easier to express yourself in a space where you feel your words will be heard and you won’t be judged or punished.
In my opinion, the biggest and perhaps most important first step in overcoming the fear of speaking our minds is to know the truth—your truth. You must be able to identify what you really want or believe in and say it proudly to yourself. That might be in a journal, in a virtual or IRL (in-real-life, for those not savvy with internet lingo) support group, in conversation with a solid friend, maybe even through visual arts or other forms of creative expression.
Once you can embrace your truth, there is less internal fear surrounding it. There is something magical about the act of expressing your personal truth which then enables you to see your personal patterns and how that aligns with your desires. It becomes the foundation for living your life with purpose. Fear is less of an issue because you can recognize any “worst” thing that can happen to you is not a result of external causes but a result of mitigating your light.
Experiences over the past year taught me that my truth does not need to be someone else’s and that is okay. I can’t express enough how important it is to respect your voice and beliefs. Believe in yourself even if it seems like right now no one else does. Whole-heartedly accept what your soul tells you is true and you will never be afraid of speaking or acting on your desires because your truth will not lead you astray.
I want to help empower people to take control of their personal health. In order to do so, I want to provide people with the tools and information they need to be their most empowered and healthiest selves.
Today’s post is not about me trying to convince anyone else to become a health coach. Rather, I just like to keep you guys informed of what I’m up to and that’s exactly what I’m going to do today. I may have alluded to it before but I find it cathartic to express myself through these posts. It is purely a splendid bonus if, in the event that you’re contemplating anything similar, my experiences feel relatable and are of some help. (Also, if that is the case then feel free to email or DM me and we can chat more♥)
For the past few years, my health has become the most important thing in my life. If you asked teen Melanie what the most important thing in her life was, it would’ve probably been something like watching her favorite shows on The CW…which is just nowhere near as important now. Anyway, my health has been through wild ups and downs all throughout my life. It is a funny thing to look back on what events or behaviors occurred that were basically alluding to something bigger.
What are the big life things that made me want to become a health coach? Well, I could tell you about how I have had issues with disordered eating or exercise addiction that caused me to even lose my freaking period for over a year but I think these sort of situations were only the tipping point(s).
As well, I could tell you how I’m SUPER passionate about food. I have been a foodie since I was born and it was only a matter of time until I started caring what went into my food. Yet, I am only one person with my own experiences in nutrition. Therefore, I want to further educate myself on the subject so that I can help others make informed decisions about their personal nutrition. As a result, better nutrition can lead to improved health in other ways, not to mention, overall an increased state of well-being.
At the moment, I am in the process of obtaining my certification as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach. Before explaining what that means, let me reiterate the first sentence of today’s post which provides my personal mission as a health coach.
I want to help empower people to take control of their personal health. In order to do so, I want to provide people with the tools and information they need to be their most empowered and healthiest selves.
Though, I want to dive a little deeper into the WHY.
I used to think health coaches were a joke in the health and wellness space. Basically, I thought this was a made-up career. I thought health coaches were people with self-dubbed titles who just spammed fitness accountability groups online in an effort to gain clients (and rip them off). Obviously there is a commercialized aspect of many career fields like this but that isn’t everything health coaching is about!
I have learned that people seek out the information they want when they need it. There is a degree of outward effort that I will put into gathering clients and sharing (ideally with minimal spam, LOL) what I do but people need to find their way to me organically. I can spam all the fitness accountability groups on Facebook and Instagram with advertisements about my services but that won’t get me very far.
I greatly believe that when you seek out information yourself, you are more likely to take action or make personal changes because you are ready to invest in yourself.
I am walking into the next steps of my coaching journey ready to soak up all of the nutrition information and develop skills on how to better assist clients on a personal level. That is my next step and I sought it out by researching, investigating, and signing up for the Institute of Integrative Nutrition’s health coaching program. Not long from now, in 2019, I will hold the title of an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach.
It is no secret that everyone has their own ideas of what it means to be “healthy”. There are countless books, blogs, and careers with different approaches to target that exact same concept. Plus, I know the information in the health and wellness industry is over-saturated and nutrition information in particular is confusing. I hope to prove that there is no need for trendy or crash diets because a whole foods way of eating is simply something that everyone can benefit from. Understandably, there are other factors that make eating healthy hard and I will be here to address those, too.
I want to be the link between people and their personal health. I am all about the holistic approach and believe that we each have the ability to achieve optimum health. In my process of achieving my Integrative Nutrition Certification, I look forward to enhancing my own system of knowledge and skill set so that I can help others create their best health.
I hope I’ve provided a clearer perspective on my WHY behind becoming a health coach—a nutrition health coach in particular. I’m not ready to begin seeing clients yet but if you would like to work with me in the future, then stay tuned around here because you all will be the first to know!
As a final note, I did not write this post with the intention to recruit others to join me as a health coach but if you are interested in my same program, through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you may have.
Happy first day of winter, lovely people! I’ve separated myself from social media quite a bit for the past two or so weeks. The break allows me to enjoy the season and try to develop a new perspective on how I want to move forward. Lately, I’ve been at quite a standstill with how I want to proceed with my life. I won’t bore you with the details but when I’m at this sort of place, I reach toward my creative side to give me the perspective I desperately need.
If you’re reading this right now, I just want to let you know that I value you as a reader. As a creative individual (which I like to consider myself to be) it means so much to know that someone else took a bit of time out of their day to read my words. Before proceeding, here’s a quote that resonated with me recently from one of my favorite articles by the fabulous Mark Manson:
There have been times where I felt conflicted and confused, where I mourned for a past self that I knew I would never see again while anxiously awaiting a future self who seemingly would never come.
-Mark Manson
Back in high school, I often received comments about how good my writing was. My friends who peer-edited my essays would say my papers were great and without mistakes. My teachers usually wrote comments about how I could go a little deeper with the analyses but they liked my fluency and word choice. Those were the essay reviews I received consistently throughout high school—and, let me tell you, I was in honors English classes so I wrote A LOT of essays.
The reason I received the same feedback from peers and teachers was likely for a couple of reasons.
I treated each essay like it was a BIG DEAL. When it came to schoolwork and grades, I considered every assignment to be highly important so I put my full effort into making it as best as I could. On some occasions, I would literally spend a solid hour trying to find a synonym or the perfect way to word a sentence.
For my thesis sentence in essays, I almost always took a neutral and qualifying stance on topics. That is, I wrote from the middle perspective and provided evidence to show how both sides of the topic were valid to an extent.
I didn’t know it at the time but I can now see that these are qualities that I carry with me in my everyday life.
Jumping Into New Commitments
I still treat the hobbies and endeavors I partake in with maximum effort. If there is something I am going to spend my time on, it must be important to me or important to someone close to me so I want it to be my best work. Thus, I am really choosy about new commitments, whether those are hobbies, people, jobs, or anything!
It is commendable to want to go into something ready to give it your all for the long haul but the contrary can also be a good thing. I would say there is a lot to learn when jumping into a new commitment without expectations. Something doesn’t have to be a big deal all of the time. Nor is there necessarily a perfect way to do something. Many times the best outcome you can get to make some mistakes and learn from them.
Make a Choice and Don’t Worry Where it May Lead You
Choices are a topic I really like talking about (see here and here). Maybe that is because I have a hard time making them. Still, I often find myself residing in the middle of an issue. I can see both sides and both have their own strong reasoning and appeal. That isn’t such a bad thing but I’ve always had a wishy-washy attitude and being indecisive gets you nowhere.
Plus, I think the brilliant thing about making a choice is that it can define you. The choice becomes the guiding force for however long you want it to be. When I’m struggling to find perspective, choosing anything helps me get clear on MY TRUE THOUGHTS. If I make a choice I am later pleased with, the experience will now assist me in tackling future situations of a similar nature. There are certainly a number of times where I am unhappy with a choice or fall hard on my ass because of it. Again, this majorly sucks but, it provides experience that assists me in future decision-making.
Personally, I think the worst thing I can do is stay still. Okay, besides meditation, there is little that I can benefit from when I’m staying still. I want to be ever-growing and to do so I also need to be ever-learning. This leads me to the creative process.
I think the reason I enjoy writing so much is because it helps me explore the strengths and possibilities of different ideas. It’s like a conversation…except I’m having it by myself and with a paper (or computer because #21stCentury).
Truth be told, many times when I sit down to type up a post I start with one idea and, by the time I’m through, it’s something else completely. The magic of writing is that I don’t realize how much is in my head until I get it down on (virtual) paper. From there, regardless of what I intended to write about, I’ll choose a post title appropriate for whatever I created. (Today’s post is an example of that and my next blog post will be on what I originally intended to write about.)
I encourage you to dive into your creative outlets to toss around ideas. Whether you play an instrument, paint, scrapbook, cook, or enjoy writing like me, the answers will unfold in front of you.
So, where is the answers part of the creative process? Interestingly enough, we often talk about our styles of something and those styles provide a look at why you’re inclined towards the things that you are pursuing. When you’re doing the activities, consider what you’re creating and why. Ask yourself if you’re taking a new approach or are you sticking with what is familiar? I consider creative outlets to be a safe space—your space—to figure yourself out.
If you’re stumped on where to go begin with creatively gaining perspective, I have an easy (sort-of) activity for you. On a single piece of paper, start jotting down what is on your mind right now. It can be a large brainstorm structure or simply use words, symbols, or drawings. Then, organize your thoughts. You can circle everything that is important with a highlighter and use other colors to circle secondary and tertiary things of importance. Alternatively, you can turn these things you’ve jotted down into a clear list.
My suggestion is to just focus on expressing whatever is on your mind before interpreting what comes out of the activity. Perhaps, afterwards, you may notice some related ideas or reoccurring themes. These, my friend, are the piece of perspective that you need at this moment in time.
It costs no money and requires no therapist. I like to think we have many of the answers we need inside of us already. We just need to allow ourselves time and grace to reveal them.
Thank you for reading. Let me know what this post meant to you by dropping me a comment or shooting me a message. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Nope, no witchery required. I just wanted to have some fun at a photoshoot but don’t let that detract from today’s topic on the power of manifestation. We’re only working with ourselves and plain, pure intentions.
Do you set intentions? If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably heard me share adoration for the practice of setting intentions. The concept of intentions is more than just a trend in the health and wellness community. The more I practice setting intentions, the more I see them as a beneficial addition to daily life.
An intention is similar to a goal in that it involves steps to make something become a reality but with a stronger emphasis on mindset. In a way, we are already setting intentions in everyday life without knowing it. Let me explain.
We are constantly reciting thoughts in our head and it is up to us to choose what those words are saying. Do you ever think negative thoughts about yourself? That is basically an intention right there—except it is an intention aimed at punishing yourself. The put-downs, self-hate, complaints, and derogatory thoughts are not thoughts of a creator. They keep you down. They keep you in isolated distress.
I definitely understand how situations can be tough and frustrating and it can seem impossible to think anything positive. Though, with all of the mental energy that negative thoughts require to survive in your head, you could be thinking positive thoughts and be making progress in what you really want.
So what is the one thing you need to do to make sure your intentions become a reality? Believe they are already true at this moment.
Imagine that the thing you want to bring into reality—the love, the finances, the friendship, the happiness, whatever—is already here. Imagine that you already have it. In your mind and body, imagine the feeling of being who you want to be and having what you want right now. That is you creating the intention. You’re turning the words into something REAL.
You see, this is why negative thoughts do not belong in our heads. We tend to think negatively and make ourselves sick with self-punishment over insecurities or actions that we believe we cannot change. When you believe something is true, it will be true. It is up to you if you want to believe in negatives and hinder your potential or, start thinking positively and shift your reality.
When you speak of your intentions, instead of saying “I will” or “I want to”, phrase them in the present tense. Speak of them as if you already have them and they are already real. Word your intentions using clear, self-definitive words like “I am” or “I have” and then the thing you’d like to manifest. See this post for some of my favorite mantras to repeat.
The more you say your intention aloud and believe that it is true, the more it will be.
If you’ve heard of the intention practice but weren’t quite sure what that meant, I hope this post has helped clarify that. Also, if you’ve been treating intentions like goals, but not achieving success, perhaps the one trick I mentioned can be the difference for you.
What is your experience with intention-setting? Do you have some tips that you feel help manifest intentions into reality? Please share in the comments 🙂
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